


Counting Stars

by ThatRobotGirl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: #FreePidge2017, Angst, Bonding Moments, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miro, Project Kuron, Shatt, background ships probably, shiro suffers, this guy needs a break
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 11:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11873298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatRobotGirl/pseuds/ThatRobotGirl
Summary: After the whole alternate reality incident, Pidge was wary about Shiro’s sudden return. Why hadn’t the Black Lion sensed him sooner? Why did it reject him? Had the Galra done something to him? She hopes listening to Shiro’s pilot logs will provide some answers but uncovers a truth she did not expect to find.





	Counting Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Pidge the conspiracy theorist suspects something is amiss with the former Black Paladin. 
> 
> Lance and Pidge sibling bonding moments, Shiro and Hunk bonding moment, Shiro is a worried Space Dad and Hunk cooks dinner! 
> 
> Also special thanks to Irika and kawaiirun for betaing the chapter! You guys are the best.

Pidge scribbled furiously into her notebook. She had to be onto something. After hours of working nonstop, she had to have _something_ to show for it. She ripped out the page and read it over once, then twice.

“This...makes _no_ sense.”

With a frustrated groan, she crumpled it to a ball and threw it across the room, where it landed next to an overflowing trash bin. Notes were scattered on her bed and even more were pinned to the wall beside her.

It had started out with the photo of her and Matt on the day of the Kerberos launch, but now her wall looked like Keith’s conspiracy board.

Her laptop sat beside her, its fan whirring loudly. She had it running a search for the material used to build the bombs that the freedom fighters used when rescuing Matt, but so far the search produced nothing useful. Meanwhile, she’d been trying to piece together the new information Coran had told them about the Paladins of old. It was a lot for the team to process.

Pidge hadn’t realized just how close they had been, only for Zarkon to tear that bond apart. What did that say about the current Paladins? Would they end up torn apart by disagreements and betrayal? Pidge didn’t like to think about it. She didn’t want them to turn out like their predecessors.

The whole war had started because of love, a _huge_ misunderstanding, and revenge. She hadn’t expected Zarkon’s motive to be love.

 _‘Of all the things it could have been,’_ Pidge thought.  

In the end, the mistakes made so long ago cost Pidge her family. Not that she blamed King Alfor for the entire war; there was no way he could have foreseen that his decision to destroy Daibazaal would result in such devastating consequences for the entire universe. Shiro, Matt, and Sam were simply collateral damage in the grand scheme of things.

Pidge reached for her notebook and scribbled down ‘butterfly effect’ and a doodle of a butterfly. Satisfied with her work, she taped it in the middle of the board next to her crude drawing of Daibazaal, or at least what she thought it looked like.

“This is going nowhere.” Pidge muttered to herself. She flopped over and stared at the top of her bunk. She’d taped some notes there; one of them was dangerously close to falling off. She reached up and pressed the peeling tape back into place.

Maybe she was trying to figure out too many things at once.

She sat up with a sigh, slowing unbending her crooked spine. She’d been hunched over her notes for hours. Maybe she needed a break.

She swung her legs off the side of her bed and looked over the dimly lit room.

It looked like a tornado had torn her room apart. The last time she remembered it being this cluttered was back home on Earth. Trash, tools, and various parts littered every flat surface. Her desk was covered in even more parts and a blueprint for Rover 2.0. She’d been so busy that she hadn’t had a chance to begin building him. Her Paladin armor and spare clothes were shoved into a pile in one corner; she needed to do her laundry soon.

She spotted a glob of food goo up on the wall. She couldn’t remember when or how it got up there, but it was too high for her to bother cleaning so it was there to stay. She decided to name the stain Steve. On the floor was a bowl of half eaten food goo. Pidge nudged it with her foot. It was probably still edible... _probably_.

Pidge sighed and looked back at her conspiracy board, spotting the sticky note beside her photo of Matt. ‘ _Go home?’_ was written down in scratchy handwriting.

As much as she wanted return to Earth, to the smell of her mom’s fresh baked peanut butter cookies and her dog, Bae Bae, curled up by her feet, she couldn’t go back without her brother and father. Pidge had left her mom alone the day she enrolled in the Galaxy Garrison. How could she face her if she came back without them?

A knock at the door brought her back to reality.

 

* * *

 

“Who is it?!” Pidge’s muffled voice called out.

“It’s Lance,” he responded, “Glad to hear you’re still alive.” Lance stood in the hall, his hands in his pockets. He had half expected to find Pidge either dead in her room or buried alive under all the clutter. Fortunately, neither seemed to be the case.

“Just a tick!” Pidge yelled, followed by the sounds of shuffling paper. Moments later the door slid open. “Need something?”

“This is the third time this week you’ve been late for dinner. Everyone’s starting to think you’re building a robot or something,” Lance said, peeking into her room. It was cluttered but he didn’t see anything that resembled a half built robot.  

“I’ve been working on...something,” Pidge admitted. “Must have lost track of time.” Lance could relate. It wasn’t like there was night or day on the Castleship. It was easy to get focused on one thing, only for hours to pass by.

“Tell me about it on the way,” Lance gestured to the hall, “I’m starving and Hunk said he made something special today.”

“What’d he make?” Pidge asked curiously.

“Dunno, he said it was a surprise. Something that would make you come out of your room.” Lance grinned not-so-innocently. Pidge narrowed her eyes, as if she could pull the truth out of him if she stared long enough, but he wasn’t going to ruin the surprise.

“So what have you been up to?” Lance asked as the two made their way to the dining hall.

“I’ve been trying to piece some stuff together,” Pidge answered, “What we learned about the original Paladins, clues about my family, parallel universes. It’s all connected.”

“Like Ryner said, cosmic dust and all that,” Lance agreed.

“Yeah...But there’s just one thing that doesn’t add up…” Pidge said thoughtfully.

“And what’s that?” Lance tilted his head to the side.

“You’re probably going to think I’m paranoid but…” Pidge stopped him and looked around to make sure they were alone before whispering, “I think Shiro might be a trap sent by the Galra.”

That...wasn’t what Lance was expecting. He narrowed his eyes at Pidge, noticing the dark bags under her eyes. She looked like a mess. Her glasses were slightly bent, as if she fell asleep with them still on her face. Lance could smell the faint scent of space coffee on her shirt. Her hair was sticking out more than usual and...was that dried up food goo on her forehead? To say she looked like a mess was putting it lightly.

“Did you pull another all nighter? Because what you’re saying makes zero sense.”

“Look, something about Shiro doesn’t feel right. I’m surprised none of you have noticed.” Pidge argued.

 _‘Noticed what?’_ Lance thought.

Sure, Shiro had been acting a bit differently, but who could blame him? He escaped from the Galra twice, three times if you counted when he broke _into_ a Galra cruiser to steal a jet. Being captured the first time had changed him; it was clear that being captured again had a similar effect. On top of that, Shiro was still adjusting to the fact that he wasn’t their leader anymore. It was a lot for him to take in.

“What about Shiro doesn’t feel right?” Lance asked. He knew Pidge was the smartest person on the ship. She wouldn’t just jump to conclusions unless she had some kind of proof.

“Well for starters,” Pidge brought out her notebook and flipped through the pages, “Shiro told us that he wasn’t restrained when he escaped. He just woke up and walked out of a room that wasn’t even guarded.”

“The guards could have been changing shifts.” Lance countered.

“I doubt it. Besides,what are the odds that no one was at the door when Shiro woke up?” Pidge continued as she followed him. It didn’t make sense. Even if he had been left alone, he would have been restrained like when Ulaz helped him escape.   

“Maybe he just got lucky?” Lance offered.

“There’s also his hair.” Pidge added, “It was way too long to have grown naturally while he was gone.”

“Fair point.” Lance agreed. He remembered it had taken him over a year to grow his hair shoulder length when he was Pidge’s age. Not that he was going to bring that up. Those were dark times. “Maybe it was a side effect from whatever experiments the Galra were doing to him?” he suggested.

“But what kind of experiments would cause rapid hair growth?” Pidge wondered aloud and wrote something in her notebook.  

“So other than the strange circumstances about Shiro’s escape and his hair, what else you got?” Lance asked. She really had this thought out.

“Remember when the Blue Lion rejected you?” Pidge asked.

“Ouch, sore subject.” Lance rubbed the back of his neck, “What about it?”

“The Blue Lion put up it’s particle barrier. When the Black Lion rejected Shiro, it didn’t.” Pidge explained.

“So what?” Lance crossed his arms over his chest.

“So, why did it let Shiro in if it was just going to reject him? It doesn’t make sense.”

Lance wasn’t sure it needed to make sense. The Lions had minds of their own after all. Maybe the Black Lion had it’s own reasons not to reject Shiro with a particle barrier to the face. Lance sighed, his eyes wandering to the direction of the Blue Lion’s tower. As much as he enjoyed piloting the Red Lion, he still missed Blue. She would always be his first Lion.

“Ever since he came back,” Pidge interrupted his thoughts, “He’s been different. Keith said that Shiro wanted him to be his successor, but why does he question his every move?”

“Keith is still pretty new to the whole leader role.” Lance said. “He’s just giving him advice.”

“More like backseat driving.” Pidge muttered under her breath.

“It’s just...ever since he came back, it feels like he’s a completely different person.” She took a deep breath and sighed. “I’m worried that the Galra may have done something to him that he may not even know about.”

Lance had to admit that Pidge had a point. Something about Shiro felt... off. His hair, his clothes, his strange headaches and his behavior. On their first mission with Shiro in the Castleship, he had told Keith to lower their shield and suffer the consequences. It didn’t sound like something he would order them to do. It was thanks to Keith’s quick thinking that they were able to destroy the Teludav in the end.

“I didn’t want to tell anyone until I was sure, but I think that Shiro might not even be _our_ Shiro.” Pidge confessed.

Lance froze mid-stride and stared at Pidge in disbelief. As much as he wanted to say she was overthinking everything and that a hot meal would help clear her head, some of what she was saying made sense.

 _‘Hell, we were in a parallel universe a few weeks ago.’_ Lance thought, ‘ _Anything’s possible now.’_

“So... what, you think this is another Sven situation?” he asked slowly. Pidge sighed, relieved that Lance didn’t immediately write her off as insane.

“I don’t think so. Sven was a completely different person, but that doesn’t mean Shiro couldn’t be another Shiro that somehow ended up in our reality.” Pidge was about to write down another note when her stomach growled.

“We should probably get dinner first.” Lance smiled. “And Pidge, you need a shower, you stink.”

Pidge punched Lance’s shoulder.

 

* * *

 

It had been nearly 15 minutes since Lance left to call Pidge down for dinner. Hunk insisted that they wait for them before they began eating. He was currently trying to keep Platt away from Lance’s plate while the rest of the mice chatted with Allura beside him.

Coran was amusing himself by stacking spare cups into a tower and was currently standing on his chair. Shiro eyed him warily. This could only end in disaster.

Keith sat beside him, polishing his dagger. Shiro tapped his fingers against the table restlessly, unsure of what to do with himself while they waited for their friends to arrive.   

“Any idea what’s taking them so long?” Shiro asked Keith.

“No idea.” he answered while he examined the blade for damage. “Something on your mind?”

“It’s just...is it just me or has Pidge been acting strangely?” Shiro asked. He couldn’t help but feel that she’d been distant lately.  She locked herself in her room for the last few days and only seemed to come out for food. The one time Shiro had run into her in the kitchen, they’d spoken briefly, but then she’d bolted out of the room after stealing the bowl of food goo he had prepared for himself.

“Not really?” Keith said, “Pidge mentioned that she was working on something but wouldn’t tell me what.”

Shiro would have suspected that was the case, but after what happened in the kitchen, he wasn’t so sure.

“It seems like she’s had a lot on her mind lately and when I tried talking to her she dodged the subject.” Shiro explained. “Maybe I did something to upset her?” He couldn’t think of anything he could have done to make her angry, except maybe the training incident a few days ago, but he doubted that was the case.

“What makes you think she’s angry with you?” Keith sheathed his blade and looked up at him.

“I’m not sure but she hardly speaks to me, and it feels like she’s been avoiding me recently.” Shiro sighed.  

“Do you want me to talk to her? See what’s going on?” Keith offered.

“No, it’s fine, I’ll talk to her after - ” Shiro was interrupted by a loud crash beside him and a cup hitting him on the head. The tower Coran had been building had spectacularly fallen over and onto the floor.

 _“Quiznak!”_ Shiro groaned and rubbed the back of his head.

“Oh, sorry Shiro!” Coran apologized as he scrambled to gather the cups that had fallen. “There goes my replica of the Castle of Lions.” He grumbled, reaching for the cups that had rolled under the table.

“What happened here?” Lance asked as he and Pidge entered the dining hall. He picked up a cup that had rolled to his feet.

“The Castle of Lions has fallen. Looks like the Galra won. Everybody go home.” Hunk laughed. “But _seriously_ , what took you guys so long?” He asked, sounding more annoyed.

“Sorry, we got a bit sidetracked.” Lance apologized and sat down beside him. Pidge took the seat next to Lance and immediately began to dig in.

Hunk had made space pasta for dinner. Various herbs were sprinkled onto the green noodles, which were covered in a creamy white sauce. On the table were baskets of freshly baked bread.

“I’m glad you could join us.” Allura gave them a gracious smile, relieved that they had arrived. “We can finally begin.”

“Platt tried to eat your food. I had to fight him off with a spork!” Hunk complained. The yellow mouse was currently napping in an empty basket in front of Hunk, the rest of the mice happily nibbling on tiny pieces of bread.

“Where have you been hiding?” Keith asked Pidge from across the table.

“You missed training... _again_.” Shiro reminded her.

Since he wasn’t a paladin anymore, he had decided to focus on training the team. Shiro insisted that everyone show up for practice but ever since the failed obstacle course incident, he’d decided to give the Paladins the option to train individually with him. Lance told Shiro that he still had nightmares about the giant hamster wheel.

“Working on a project.” Pidge answered between mouthfuls. “I’ll make up for training once it’s done.”

“What kind of project? Maybe I could help!” Coran offered as he emerged from under the table with an armful of cups.

“It’s fine, I’m helping Pidge out.” Lance explained. He then glanced at her, his eyes going wide, as surprised as Shiro to see she had already inhaled her meal. “Geez, did you skip out on lunch too?” Lance asked as Pidge filled her bowl with another serving and a couple of slices of bread, tearing into them.

“Hey, slow down there, Pidge. You need to _savour_ it.” Hunk commented.

“I _am_ savoring it!” Pidge argued but she reluctantly slowed down.

The team shared a laugh and soon they began to chat amongst themselves. As dinner went on, Allura and Coran began to tell stories. Ever since they told the Paladins the truth about their predecessors, they decided to share the happy memories with them.

Coran was telling them about the time Gyrgan, Trigel, and Blaytz were tasked with the mission of guarding baby Allura from assassins while her mother, Alfor and Zarkon handled delicate negotiations with one of their enemies. Alfor had complete trust in his teammates while Queen Fala vowed that if _any_ harm came to her daughter, she would personally destroy the three of them.

It was a disaster that involved the three Paladins spending nearly the entire evening running on rooftops with baby Allura strapped to Gyrgan’s chest. Somehow, she had slept through most of it.

Shiro was only somewhat paying attention to the story. He could feel the familiar prickling sensation behind his eyes, his only warning before he was hit by a wave of nausea. He set his spork down and rubbed his temple to ease the pain. He’d grown use to the intensity but they were still a nuisance.

“Did I over-season it? You’ve barely touched your noodles.” Hunk asked and noticed his discomfort. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Shiro reassured him, “The food is amazing, it’s just another headache.” They came and went but they always arrived when he least expected them. Coran told him that the healing pod should have healed the root cause of the headaches, but that didn’t appear to be the case.

“I could get you some food goo if you want something lighter.” Hunk offered.

“There’s no need.” Shiro told him and grabbed a slice of bread. “I can still enjoy this.”

It was still warm in his hand and seemed to melt in his mouth when he took a bite. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten fresh bread. It was likely before his time in the Garrison but he couldn’t recall when. His memories from Earth had been filled with holes since his first escape from the Galra.

When Shiro would try to recall something, he had always felt the ghost of the memory floating just out of his reach. Now as he tried to remember, his mind pulled a blank, as if the memory wasn’t there anymore. The headaches always seemed to make things worse. He wondered what other memories he’d forgotten since he returned.

Shiro was still deep in thought when he reached for another piece of bread, but froze when he sensed he was being watched. He looked up and noticed Lance and Pidge staring at him.

“What?” he asked cautiously, “Do I have something on my face?” He wiped his mouth and noticed the room had fallen silent. Everyone, even the space mice, were watching him with equally concerned expressions.

“No but…” Allura began. “You were muttering to yourself.”

“I was?” Shiro asked, the tips of his ears darkening. He hadn’t noticed he’d been talking out loud.

“Muttering while eating bread.” Lance added. “You finished the entire basket!” That would explain where the bread went.

“You were completely out of it for a minute there.” Keith said and placed a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. “You okay?”

“Oh…sorry about that.” Shiro said sheepishly, “Guess I just have a lot on my mind.”

He noticed Pidge write something in her notebook. Was she...taking notes on him?

 _Why would she be doing that?_ He wondered as his head began to throb again. He groaned softly. Just when he thought it had passed. At least it wasn’t as bad as before.

“What are you writing there, Pidge?” Hunk asked curiously.

“Uhh…” Pidge began, “Just equations for a project I’m working on.”

“Yeah, uh…training simulations.” Lance added.

“Really?” Shiro asked, interested. He ignored the lingering headache. “What have you got, Pidge?”

“Uhh…” Both Lance and Pidge said at the same time and looked at each other nervously.  

“CLONES!” Lance blurted out loudly. Shiro winced and rubbed his temple to ease his headache. Pidge stared at Lance and looked as if she wanted to disappear under the table.

“What do you mean by clones?” Coran questioned them while stroking his mustache.

“Pidge...thought it would be a good idea...to make...clones?” he clarified and gestured to the younger Paladin. “Go ahead, tell them about it.”

Shiro noticed Pidge shoot Lance a glare before she flipped through her notebook and landed on a page filled with scratchy notes.

“What Lance means is...hard light copies, like the projections the AI chamber can create.” She explained. “We can use the technology to create copies of ourselves.”

“For what purpose?” Allura asked, intrigued.

“Well, we each have distinctly different fighting styles.” Pidge continued hesitantly. “We can use the copies during training and... learn from each other. I could create an algorithm that can help the copies learn to make it... more of a challenge?”

“So that’s what you’ve been up to these last few days.” Keith commented, “It’s not a bad idea. What do you think, Shiro?”

“I think it’s a great idea.” He smiled. “I’d be happy to help you test them out.”

“I’ll let you know when they’re ready.” Pidge said tiredly and put her notebook away.

 

* * *

 

Once dinner was cleared away, Hunk returned from the kitchen with a covered tray floating behind him. He couldn’t stop the grin from forming on his face while everyone gave him questioning looks. He had already made an amazing meal; what else could he have up his sleeve?

“Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” He looked at Pidge. “I think you’re going to love this.” he said before removing the cover with a flourish. Everyone leaned in to get a look at what was on the tray.

“After weeks of pain and suffering I finally made the perfect cookies!” Hunk exclaimed excitedly.

“No scaultrite this time?” Pidge joked.

“No Pidge.” Hunk groaned. “And for the record, those cookies saved our lives. Now go ahead, try them.”

He watched Pidge hesitantly take a cookie and examine it for any weird ingredients. Satisfied that it was a normal cookie, Pidge took a bite. Everyone watched her expectantly for her reaction. She chewed it thoughtfully before her eyes widened in shock.

“What? Are they good? Or did they really have scaultrite? Pidge?!” Lance asked urgently.

“They taste like _peanut butter!”_ she squealed in joy. “This is amazing, Hunk!” The look on Pidge’s face made the sleepless nights of perfecting the recipe worth it.

With Pidge’s seal of approval, they all began enjoying the peanut butter cookies. Soon, the dining hall began to empty out. Everyone thanked Hunk for the meal as they left. Hunk spotted Pidge filling her pockets with more cookies before she bolted through the doors.

All that was left for Hunk to do was to clean up the dining room...and the kitchen. He groaned. He didn’t look forward to the mess he left behind in the kitchen. Since Lance broke the dish washer the other day, he would have to wash everything by hand, alone. As Hunk picked up the dishes, he scanned the room and noticed that Shiro about to walk out the door.

“Hey Shiro, before you go, I could use some help tidying the kitchen.” Hunk said.

“Oh…” Shiro looked at the door, then back at Hunk. “Sure, I’d be happy to help.”

A few minutes later, the two of them were in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess left behind of the evening’s feast. Hunk was washing the dishes while Shiro dried them and put them back in the cabinets. For a while, they worked in a comfortable silence.

“Dinner was amazing.” Shiro commented.

“Thanks.” Hunk grinned, “I’m sorry you couldn’t fully enjoy it because of your headache.” he added.

“I can’t remember the last time I had a meal this good, except…” Shiro trailed off.

“Except…?” Hunk asked curiously as he handed him another plate.

“The bowl of food goo you brought me when I was holed up in my room after you guys rescued me…” Shiro smiled thoughtfully.

After everything that had happened, Hunk was sure Shiro had forgotten about their bonding moment.

 

* * *

 

_It had been a few days after the Black Lion had found Shiro. While everyone was excited to have him back, Keith had told them to give Shiro some space while he recovered from his week of drifting in space._

_That didn’t stop Hunk from bringing him food. He wanted to make Shiro a hearty homecooked meal to welcome him back home, but he decided against it. Something lighter would be better, considering he’d been starving for days. The healing pod may have healed Shiro’s wounds and given him nutrients, but he still needed to eat something._

_Hunk stood in front of Shiro’s room with a bowl of food goo in hand. He knocked gently on the door._

_“Hey Shiro?” He called out, “It’s me, Hunk.”_

_A few moments later he heard a quiet ‘come in.’_

_The door slid open and Hunk stepped inside. The room was dark, save for the light coming from the hall. Shiro squinted at the sudden brightness. His hair was a mess and his blanket was tangled around his legs, as if he’d been tossing and turning._

_Hunk couldn’t help but notice how much Shiro had changed since their battle against Zarkon. His hair was longer, too long for the amount of time he’d been missing. He never thought he’d see Shiro with a beard. It suited him._

_“Ah Quiznak, did I wake you up?” Hunk apologized and made his way over to the side of Shiro’s bed. The door closed behind him, plunging the room in darkness again._

_“No, no, this headache has been keeping me up up for hours.” Shiro explained. “What can I do for you, Hunk?”_

_“Well, I thought I should bring you some food since you just got out of the healing pod today. It’s not much but after what happened, I thought you could use a nice meal and a friend.” Hunk sat at the end of the bed and handed him the bowl with a smile._

_“Thank you, Hunk.” Shiro smiled and immediately began to dig in._

_After shoveling down a few mouthfuls, he stopped. He stared down at the bowl, his shoulders shaking. The tears Shiro had been holding back suddenly overflowed and rolled down his cheeks. Once they began they couldn’t stop._

_“Shiro?” Hunk asked hesitantly._

_He was unresponsive and stared blankly into nothing as the tears began to fall faster. Shiro covered his face with his hands, remembering that Hunk was still in the room with him. He stifled his sobs but the walls he had built around his heart were beginning to crumble._

_Hunk did the only thing he could think of and wrapped his arms around him. Shiro’s breath hitched and he stiffened in Hunk’s arms. He stared at him for a moment before slowing returning the embrace. After that, It was like a dam had broken._

_Shiro sobbed into his chest, hands clutching the back of his shirt. Hunk gently rocked him and rubbed his back in an attempt to sooth him. Shiro’s cries grew louder as he clung to him. The pain came in waves, only broken when he came back up to gasp for air. It felt like Shiro was drowning and Hunk was the only thing keeping him from going under._

_He wasn’t sure how long they were sitting there, long enough for Shiro to tire himself out and fall asleep in his arms. Hunk tucked Shiro back into bed and left a note and a pouch of water next to his pillow, before letting himself out. Shiro deserved some rest._

_At first, he hadn’t been sure what to write for the note. He had seen a side of Shiro he’d never seen before, possibly his most vulnerable moment in his presence. In the end, Hunk decided to tell him what he needed to hear._

 

_Hey Shiro,_

 

_I left you some water. After what happened I think you could use some. It's okay for you cry in front of others. Heck, I do it all the time, but I wanted you to know that it doesn’t make you weak. It just proves that you’re human. You're still my hero and we’re so happy to have you back._

 

_Hunk_

 

* * *

 

“I never got to thank you for that.” Shiro said softly.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Hunk rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sure you would have done the same if it were me.”

“Still, I’m glad that you were there for me.” Shiro smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Hunk hadn’t told anyone about what happened. It was for Shiro to tell, not him. He hadn’t done anything special and did what anyone else would have done.

A part of him felt happy that he had been able to see that side of Shiro. For a while, Hunk had forgotten that while Shiro was an adult with the weight of the universe on his shoulders, he was still so young.

Hunk was one of the many cadets who idolized Shiro as the top pilot he was and placed him on a pedestal. It was easy to believe that he didn’t have problems like the rest of them, but seeing Shiro break his composure reminded Hunk of how much he had been through.

Shiro and his crew had been abducted by the Galra for a year. He was forced to fight for his life in the Gladiator arena, was experimented on and lost his arm in the process, later injured by Haggar, thrown into a compromised wormhole, and nearly killed by giant alien lizards.

Two weeks later, Shiro had woken up to find himself back in the hands of the Galra. He narrowly escaped, only to land on an unforgiving ice planet before he broke back _into_ a Galra cruiser, and drifted in space for a week with no supplies before he was finally rescued.

Hunk was amazed by how long he’d survived on his own. The guy needed a break, maybe a little taste of home. He suddenly had an idea.

“Hey, what’s your favorite food?” Hunk asked. “I’ll make it for tomorrow’s dinner.”

“No, it’s alright, you don’t have to.” Shiro said sheepishly and looked away.

“It’s no trouble.” Hunk insisted. “You know how much I love cooking.”

“Actually…” Shiro said hesitantly. “I can’t... remember what my favorite food is.”

 _“No.”_ Hunk gasped, nearly dropping the plate he had been washing. “To forget your favorite food is a fate worse than death!” He exclaimed.

“It’s not a big deal.” Shiro insisted. “Everything you make is fantastic.”

“That is true, but no, no, no.” Hunk waved him off. “Tomorrow, we are going to help you remember your favorite food.” He decided.

 

* * *

 

After dinner, Pidge had returned to her room for a shower, a change of clothes, and a nap. A couple of hours later, she sent a message to Lance to meet her at the docking bay so they could examine the Galra ship Shiro had stolen during his escape. It was the only place left where she hadn’t looked for clues.

Lance had been waiting for her on the wing of the ship and greeted her cheerfully when she arrived. Hunk and Coran had already begun to take it apart earlier that week; pieces of the ship were lying around nearby.

“Need a hand?” Lance held his hand out to Pidge.

“Thanks.” She grabbed his hand and climbed onto the wing. “Were you waiting long?”

“Nah, I just got here a few dobashes ago.” Lance answered. “It’s so weird seeing one of these things up close and not shooting at us.” He gestured to the ship.

“Yeah, I’m surprised it held out for so long.” Pidge agreed. Despite drifting in space for days, the ship was still in relatively good condition when they found Shiro. With some fuel and a new paint job it would be good as new, if it wasn’t already in pieces. Pidge wondered if they could repair the ship and use it for future recon missions, though with the Green Lion’s cloaking it probably wouldn’t be necessary.

Pidge climbed into the cockpit and set up her laptop next to the monitor. She would need to hook the ship up to an external power source if she wanted to look at the records.

“Lance, hand me that wrench.” Pidge commanded.

“This one?” Lance called back and held up a wrench that was as long as her arm.

“No, the other one.” She clarified.

“This one?” He asked and held up a completely different tool.

“No.” Pidge groaned. ‘ _This is going to take a while…’_

A couple hours of Lance insisting that all the wrenches looked the same later, the two of them were able to get the ship back in working order. Pidge had stripped down to her black tank top, tying her sweater around her waist, and tying her hair back to keep it out of the way.

Pidge and Lance had taken a break and were sitting on the wing. Pidge had brought peanut butter cookies and was sharing with Lance, who had brought pouches of space juice. 

“You got a little something on your face.” Lance pointed his cookie to the grease smudge on Pidge’s forehead and handed her a towel.

“Thanks.” Pidge took the towel and wiped her face.

Pidge noticed Lance reaching for another cookie and smacked his hand away.

“Hey! You had your share, the rest of these are _mine_.” Pidge hugged the bowl to her chest.

“Oh, c’mon!” Lance complained and tried to reach for one but she moved the bowl out of reach, narrowing her eyes at him. “Ugh, _fine._ ” He relented and took a sip of his space juice. He grabbed Pidge’s notebook from her bag and flipped through the pages.

“What are you doing?” Pidge asked.

“Seeing what other theories you have about Shiro.” Lance answered.

Pidge had come up with many theories on why the Galra could have sent Shiro. She’d memorized them from how many hours she spent trying to figure out if any of them could be true. She had ordered them from most likely to least likely:

 

    1. Brainwashed sleeper agent _(could explain the headaches)_
    2. _Virus implanted Galra arm. _Motives: Take down the Ship’s defenses (already scanned arm and ship for bugs or viruses, dead end)__
    3. Tracking device in his arm _(Zarkon can track the Black Lion, also dead end)_
    4. Clone ( _To what end, why take the time and effort to make a clone when they could just brainwash him? Memories could have been planted in his arm. Same scars.)_



 

“So have you told anyone else about this?” Lance asked curiously as he added his own notes to the list. _5\. Alternate Reality._

“Nope. You’re the first one to know,” Pidge answered as she took a bite of her cookie. “I wanted to find more substantial proof before I told anyone else but I hit a block and I needed some help.”

“So...does this make us partners in crime?” Lance grinned and nudged her with his elbow.

“I guess so.” Pidge smiled back at him.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” He asked suddenly as he lay back against the wing of the ship.

“Sure, go ahead.” she answered.

“What’s your brother like?”

Pidge stopped kicking her legs and looked back at him. Lance watched her, his arms crossed behind his head.

“You’ve never asked about Matt before. Why the sudden interest?” She asked curiously.

“I guess hanging out with you reminds me of when I use to hang out with my older siblings.” Lance explained and stared at the ceiling. “It made me think, what if the Galra had taken my older brother? I’d completely lose it.”

 _For a while, I did_. Pidge thought. She could remember the months she spent looking for any answers she could find about the Kerberos mission. The sleepless nights she spent trying to piece together what the Galaxy Garrison was hiding.

“So I wanted to know what Matt’s like.” Lance continued. “So far all I’ve got is a taller version of you.”

“Well for one thing, Matt always liked to remind me of how short I am.” Pidge smiled fondly of the memory. She’d hated how he would always use her as an armrest. Now she would give anything just to see him again.

“Oh, I know the feeling,” Lance grinned. His siblings were all older than him and his brothers enjoyed tormenting him when he was little.

“He was top of his class in the Garrison and to the professors he was the perfect student.” Pidge continued. “But in reality, he’s the worst procrastinator.”

“I can relate.” Lance smiled. “I suck at studying so I usually wing it when it comes to tests.”

“And everything else.” Pidge muttered under her breath.

“I heard that!” Lance yelled.

Pidge laughed. It felt nice talking about her brother with Lance. The team knew about her search for her family, but other than Shiro, she never spoke about Matt or their father to the other Paladins.

Lance also shared stories about his own family. They had a home near the beach. He and his siblings would go to the boardwalk for garlic knots and pizza for every celebration, no matter how small.

Pidge was back in the pilot seat and working on hacking into the ship’s systems. She told Lance another story about the shenanigans Matt had secretly gotten into while he was in the Garrison.

“So _he’s_ the reason why Space Racers was banned from the dorms!” Lance exclaimed. He and his siblings had grown up playing that game. Lance considered himself a good player but he was sure his skills had gotten rusty with time.

“Matt was pretty competitive.” Shiro chimed in. He entered the docking bay with Hunk in tow. “Sam once caught a group of us playing late the night before finals, but turns out he’s even more competitive than Matt and joined in so he could defend his title.” He smiled wistfully at the memory.

“Dad won.” Pidge added with a grin. “He bragged about it for weeks.”

“No way, I can never play it without falling off the course.” Hunk complained.

“I wasn’t very good at it either.” Shiro admitted. “The solar flares would always get me. Though Matt did teach me how to avoid the shooting stars.”

“You can avoid the shooting stars?!” Lance exclaimed. “My brother and sister _lied_ to me…”  He grumbled.

“So, what have you two been up to?” Shiro asked.  

“I’m scanning the ship’s memory to see if I can gather any information from the Galra.” Pidge explained, not taking her eyes off the screen.

“Have you found anything?” Shiro asked hesitantly.

“Nothing useful yet, it’s encrypted so it might take me some time to open the files.” Pidge answered but she paused when she felt his eyes still on her. “Need something?”

“Could we talk?” Shiro asked and looked to Lance and Hunk. “Could you guys give us a minute?”

 _Oh quiznak,_ Pidge thought. _Is he onto me?_

“Oh, sure.” Lance hopped off the wing and followed Hunk to the other side of the hanger. “You made more cookies?” He asked, noticing the tray in his hands.

“I had extra dough.” Hunk shrugged.  

Once the two of them were out of earshot, Shiro climbed onto the wing and sat beside the open cockpit.

“What did you want to talk about?” Pidge asked questioningly. She hadn’t spoken to Shiro for days other than at dinner. _Maybe he noticed?_

“Are you angry at me?” Shiro asked anxiously.

 _What?_ That wasn’t what Pidge was expecting. “What makes you think that?” she asked, baffled.

“You’ve been acting strangely.” Shiro explained. “I got the impression that you were avoiding me.” He admitted.

 _He noticed._ Pidge thought. Of course he would. She’d locked herself in her room for days, anyone would find that a little strange, even with the excuse she and Lance made up.

“I’m not mad at you.” Pidge clarified. “I’ve just...got a lot on my mind lately.” She looked away.

“Are you worried about your family?” Shiro asked.

“I’m worried about a lot of things.” Pidge muttered. “Will I find Matt? Is my father even still alive? Can we really save the universe on our own?”

 _Can I trust you?_  

“Things may seem uncertain now, but we have to hang in there.” Shiro said. “For your family and for everyone depending on us.”

 _Really motivational, Shiro._ Pidge thought bitterly. _As if we’re not already constantly reminded of how the fate of the universe rests on their shoulders._

“Do you miss him?” Pidge asked, changing the subject.

“Matt...” He looked off into the distance as if in deep thought. “I miss him every day.” He said softly.

“Do you think we’ll find him?” Pidge looked at him.

“To be honest, I’d cross the entire universe and back for him.” Shiro admitted, and then winced. “That sounded…” He looked away, Pidge caught the blush on his cheeks and chuckled.

“Matt use to always say you were a big softy.” She smiled.

Shiro looked as if he was about to say more when the docking bay doors opened. He and Pidge looked up to see Keith walking in. He had a towel wrapped around his neck and his hair was damp with sweat.

“So this is where everyone went.” Keith said. He walked up to the ship and was joined by Lance and Hunk.

“Where have _you_ been?” Lance asked, “Pidge and I were trying to get this thing working for hours.” He gestured to the ship.

“Training.” Keith answered. Hunk offered him a cookie and he took it gratefully. “Thanks.”

“You spent your day off training?” Lance asked.

“You spent _your_ day taking apart a ship.” Keith countered and took a bite of his cookie.

“Well enjoy it while it lasts.” Shiro jumped off the wing and joined them. “Because all of us will be training tomorrow.”

“You’ll be joining us, right Pidge?” Keith asked.

“Yes…” Pidge muttered without looking away from her screen.

“It’s getting late so you should wrap things up for tonight.” Keith added, though she didn’t seem to hear him. _“Pidge.”_

“Oh, right. One second, I think I’ve almost cracked this thing.” Pidge said, entering a command to unlock and download the encrypted codes. An error popped up on the ship’s monitor, followed by a loud alarm.

“Oh quiznak.” Pidge cursed. The cockpit closed around her and she could hear the others call out her name from outside the ship. She typed into her computer to reverse the lockdown but the control panel shut off, engulfing her in darkness.

 

* * *

 

Only a few minutes had past since the ship went on lockdown but it felt much longer. Shiro couldn’t believe how careless he’d been. He should have examined the ship for traps before he let anyone near it, but with recovering, pursuing Lotor and acclimating himself back into the team, it had completely slipped his mind.

Allura and Coran had arrived shortly after being called and Keith was bringing them up to speed on the situation. Lance touched the particle barrier that had formed around the ship to look for any weak spots. His forehead was red from running face first into the barrier when it activated.

“Is she going to be okay?” Hunk asked as he paced nervously behind Lance.

“I’m sure she’s fine.” Shiro placed a hand on his shoulder. “She’s probably more scared than we are right now so we have to stay calm and figure this out.”

“Maybe we could try shooting it?” Lance offered.

“I don’t think that would be wise.” Coran warned them as he typed into his gauntlet. “The barrier would simply deflect it.”  

“Pidge, can you hear us?! Knock once for yes!” Lance called out but got no response.

“I don’t think she can hear you.” Keith said as he stood next to him.

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious.” Lance muttered under his breath. He kicked the barrier and cursed when he stubbed his toe.

Shiro looked at his Galra arm and wondered if he could somehow cut a hole into the barrier.

 _‘Worth a shot,’_ he thought.

But before he could touch the barrier, the room began to spin and the edges of his vision darkened. The light from his hand quickly faded and he pressed it to his forehead to relieve the throbbing.

“Shiro, are you okay?” Hunk asked, concerned. He placed a steadying hand on Shiro’s shoulder.

“I’m fine.” Shiro stifled a groan and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s just a headache, it’ll pass.” He reassured him.

“I can make you some tea to help ease the pain.” Hunk offered, “I’m getting nervous just standing around here doing nothing.”

“No, I’m fine,” Shiro forced a smile, “See? It’s already starting to fade.” Hunk didn’t seem convinced.

“Are you sure?” Hunk asked, “You’ve been getting a lot of headaches lately, maybe you should get it checked out?”

Lance jumped when his communicator began to vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and fumbled with it for a moment, nearly dropping it.

“Hello? Pidge? Is that you?” Lance answered and put it on speaker.

“Who else?” Pidge responded, “Sorry to worry you guys.” They all let out a collective sigh of relief at the sound of her voice.

“What gives, why didn’t you call sooner?” Lance complained.

“We’re glad to hear you’re alright.” Shiro said as they gathered around the communicator.

“I’ve been trying to override the lockdown on my end but the ship isn’t responding.” Pidge explained as she typed into her computer.

“Why did it lockdown in the first place?” Hunk asked, “Coran and I have been down here working on the thing for days and it’s never done anything like this before.”

“I triggered some kind of security system and the ship scanned me. It thought I was Matt, and wouldn’t you know it, my brother’s a class 3 fugitive!” Pidge seemed to beam with pride. It looked like she wasn’t the only Holt fighting back.

“It is likely that the Galra have this lockdown set in place to prevent fugitives from stealing their ships.” Allura reasoned.

“Then why didn’t it scan me?” Shiro asked, his headache flaring for a moment. He’d been in the ship for days and it never went on lockdown. Pidge paused before answering.

“I...I don’t know.” she said, “Maybe the cruiser you stole the ship from didn’t know you escaped yet?”

“We can worry about that later, we should be focusing on getting Pidge out of there.” Keith pointed out.

“Any ideas, Pidge?” Shiro asked.

“When I hooked up the ship I only gave it enough power to keep the main systems running, which includes the lockdown.” Pidge explained. “It should run out of power within a day.”

“So what you’re saying is that you’re stuck in there until the battery dies?” Hunk asked.

“Looks like it.” Pidge sighed.

“Are you sure there isn’t any other way?” Shiro asked. He didn’t like the idea of Pidge being trapped within the ship, even if it was only for a day.

“Yeah. What are you suppose to do for food? Or the bathroom?” Hunk asked.

“Pidge did just eat three bowls of space noodles and a dozen cookies so I think she’ll be fine.” Lance commented.

“Will you be alright, Pidge?” Allura asked. “We could find another way to get you out sooner.”

“There’s still data I haven’t extracted yet, I don’t want to risk damaging the ship and losing it all.” Pidge explained.

“It’s getting late, it’ll be best if one of us stay with Pidge.” Shiro said. “We can take shifts throughout the night.”

“I’ll take first shift.” Keith offered and held his hand out to Lance, who handed him the communicator.

“No.” Shiro stopped them. “It’s my fault this happened. This is my responsibility.”   

“This isn’t your fault.” Keith argued. “None of us knew this would happen.”

“Guys, it’s really not necessary.” Pidge insisted. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> The flashback with Hunk and Shiro was inspired by skdaks2’s Shunk comic (check out their art on tumblr it's really cute). 
> 
> Space Racers is just a name I made up for this reality’s version of Mario Kart...except all the courses are Rainbow Road. Shooting Stars and Solar Flares considered Blue Shells.
> 
> Well this was a bit of a slow start but things should start picking up after this. Let me know what you guys think! Also comments give me life.


End file.
